The Ice Cream Comments - Candy & Helena

Overall this is a very nice story about a day in the play park.  Within the sequences you do a good job of mixing your angles and fields of view.  The transitions between scenes and locations are not as strong and you need to apply some of the same shot change techniques when moving from one part of the story to the next.  Change angle of view but more importantly change field of view.  When you transitioned from the flat to the park you could have done of happy kids and activities in the park sort of montage.  This would have taken the audience from one location to the next.  This would also work well with the three shots of amazement that you have with the little boy as he enters the park.  The montage would have given visual reference points for the three "waa" expressions.  It would be nice if there was a larger theme the played out in relation to the ice cream but this is a good slice of life story as it currently exists.